Love
by Miss Kells Bells
Summary: Human AU. Spuffy. William Pratt believes in one thing: love. But sometimes love might not be enough. After being forced to move from London to Sunnydale will William, or Spike as he know calls himself, be able to keep his heart open or will it shatter?
1. Mum

**Summary: Human AU. Spuffy. William Pratt believes in one thing: love. But sometimes love might not be enough. After being forced to move from London to Sunnydale will William, or Spike as he know calls himself, be able to keep his heart open or will it be shattered into smithereens.**  
><strong>Rating:<strong> T for some violence<strong>  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer<strong>

**A/N: This chapter (and 2 and 3) has been edited to take out my extreme use of accents, thanks to the suggestion of _Viewtiful Vampa. _Please remember that the majority of writers want to please their audience, yes we write for ourselves but we also want to be good at what we do. Many fanfiction writers are amateurs, writers who are trying out new ideas or perhaps just like fanfiction. In general we like reviews because they help us learn. They tell us what we did write and what we did wrong. My accents were wrong, very wrong. I've kept in the use of Mum, luv and taking out Gs at the end of ING words and I use Me instead of I a couple times but for the most part the accents are gone. Hopefully this story will be more readable now. And please continue to review my stories so I can bring you all a better product.  
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><p>If there was one thing that William Pratt could admit it was that he was a sucker for love. Psychologists could prattle on about why William was so attached and clingy. They could blame it on an oedipal complex with his mother or the abandonment issues he suffered because his father and brother leaving him. They could list a bunch of psychobabble and throw around a lot of fancy words, but William knew the truth. Some people believe in God and Jesus, some people are atheists; William believed in love.<p>

**Chapter 1: Mum**

William Pratt was born in London to Anne Pratt as her second child. Shortly after William's birth his father left, leaving Anne a single parent. William clung to the love of mother and older brother as if they were the only affection he would ever receive. By the time William was four, though, his brother, who was 10 years his senior, followed their father's path when he received a scholarship to a boarding school in the United States and left poor William alone with their mother. William, being old enough to finally understand abandonment, clinged to his mother's love as if he was holding on for dear life.

"William, dear," his mother said to him as she entered a young William's room, "You hold yourself up in here. Why don't you go out and play with your friends?"

William laid across his mattress reading over the words of his favorite poetry collection. "Not much for playin', Mum," he said when he finished the entry he was reading. He closed the book and turned to his side to look at his mother standing in the door frame. William's room was neater than most boy's rooms, although there were a few papers scattered across the floor and a pile of dirty laundry in the corner. "At least not with the bloody neighbors. They aren't all sugar and spice, you know."

"I know you luv to read, William," his mother said, "But you need social experiences too."

"Why?" William asked. He was a very curious boy and always asked the question. He could taste the familiarity of it on his tongue.

Anne made her way over to William's bed and sat down next to him. She ran her fingers through his short curly hair. "If you don't go out and have some life experiences then what are ya ever going to write about?"

"About you and me, Mum," William said matter-a-factly.

Anne smiled and laughed softly. "I appreciate that, William, really, I do. But you need to go outside and play."

William sighed and continued to lie on the bed for a few more minutes. He didn't want to go outside and play so he was going to be suborn about it. He wasn't going to leave the comfort of his own home, not while his mother was giving him all the love he would ever need.

Eventually Anne stopped running her fingers through William's hair and stood up to leave. "Where are you goin', Mum?"

She stopped at the dorm frame but did not turn around to look at her son. "William, go outside and play."

William grumbled, tossed his poetry book to the floor and got up. He clenched his tiny hands into fists and stomped past his mother.

"It breaks me heart to see you behavin' this way."

William signed and unclenched his fists. He turned around, ran to his mother and wrapped his arms around her waist. "I'm sorry, Mum."

"That's okay, now be a good boy and go out and play."

"Okay, Mum," William said shyly. He puckered in his bottom lip and descended on a journey to the outside. Fifteen minutes later one of the other boy's mother was dragging him back inside.

"He gave me Jonathan a black eye and bloody nose!" screamed the woman at William's mother.

"I am so sorry!" she said and took William by the hand, dragging him in. "He'll never do it again, I promise." She closed the door behind William. She turned to William with fire in her eyes. "If you had a father he'd surely be givin' you a beatin' right now!" Anne lowered her voice. "But you don't have a father." Anne bent down to William's level and twisted her finger through a curl. "Why don't I help you get cleaned up and then we can bake some cookies. Then maybe you can read me a poem you wrote."

William smiled and once again hugged his mother. This time she hugged back, tightly, as if she never wanted to let go.

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><p><strong>AN: I hope you enjoy the first chatper and please send in your reviews.**


	2. Dru

**A/N: I have a very important question for all my readers. How often do you like your stories updated? I updated my last story every single day (or tried to) but I feel like that just gives you the chance to fall behind. But if I wait to long to update then you may get sick of the anticipation and stop reading. So what's the magic number for you? Once a week. Twice a week? Trice a week? Or should I go back to once a day. Or do you need even more time between chapters than a week? Let me know and I'll adjust my updating accordingly.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2: Dru<strong>

"You don't go to East London High School, do you?" William asked the wide-eyed brunette sitting across from him in a diner booth.

"School is for the silly puppets of munchkinland."

"I believe they were midgets, Luv," William said with a smile on his lips.

The strange girl simply cocked her head to the side and her eyes seemed to open even wider, if that was at all possible. "Do you hear that?" she asked.

"Hear what?"

"The sound of millions of blood cells rushing out, spilling, and falling—SPLAT!—on the ground. So sad. What a waste of blood."

William began to laugh nervously. The girl, whose name was Drusilla, for Dru for short, was a bit of a loon. But she was pretty and she was interested. What more could William want; besides sanity, that is.

Dru's head swayed back to the upright position. "It makes a lovely melody," she said as a smile formed on her lips. She began to sway in the booth, dancing to non-existent music. The waitress in the diner came over and began to take their order. She eyed Dru suspiciously.

"I'll, uh, have an order of fish and chips," William said quickly, trying to draw the waitress' attention away from Dru, "and she'll have—"

"Curtled babies," Dru said.

That time William was the one with wide-eyes. He quickly regained his composure though and ordered Dru a house salad. When the waitress was gone Dru questioned him on whether the dressing was demon puss or ranch.

"Ranch?" William said, a little scared that it may be the wrong answer.

Dru stared at William for a very long time. And then she smile. "Good! Demon puss is just gross!"

William continued to date Dru for almost half a year. It was clear that she was a nut-job with no hope of recovery but William loved the way she would look at things with child-like affection. Perhaps he was falling for a crazy person, but she was his crazy person.

Six months after they began dating William brought Dru home while he was sure his mother was out. He showed her to his room where he was sure he'd then show her a night of passion. "Oh, William, are you going to make me a bad girl?" Dru asked as he showed her his bed. His room looked the same as it had when he was a little kid, only more messy. There was a desk in the corner that held a stack of papers and notebooks and a bookcase against the wall filled with an assortment of books and poems.

Dru made her way over to William's bed, which had been made for the special occasion. She patted the spot next to herself and barked. William smirked and sat down next to his lady.

Dru was clutching her purse very tightly, which didn't offset William. He was use to her strange quirks. When William leaned over to turn on his CD player, which had a mix of love songs on it, Dru began to rummage through her purse. "I like it rough," she said under her breath as she pulled out a metal spike. Before William was able to press play she grabbed him with almost inhuman strength and pushed him against the bed.

"Alright," a nervous William said, "No lame music."

Dru placed herself on top of William, pressing her lips hard against William. She causally placed her spikes on the bed next to them and then began to undress William from her button-down collared-shirt. She scratched his bare chest with a fingernail. It was hard enough that it actually drew blood. Though it hurt like Hell William didn't say anything. The night was going far better than he had ever imagined.

Dru pushed William across the bed, though he was still upright, until his back was against the wall. With one hand she picked up his arm and leaned it against the wall and with the other hand she picked up one metal spike. She kissed him again, then pounded the spike through his hand into the wall. He shirked in pain.

He turned to push her off of him with his free hand but he was too weak and she drilled another spike through his second hand before he could get her off of him. He kicked her with his feet.

Dru jumped off the bed. "Bad puppy!" She growled and barked. She picked up another spike. "Somebody needs to teach you a lesson on behaving.

"Please," William said. His breath was getting heavy as he bleed from his hands. There was a lot of blood.

Dru simply cocked her head to the side as she approached him. She sat on his legs and this time he didn't kick back. He had no strength to do so. Dru took the spike in her hand and began humming as she stabbed it into his eyebrow. It didn't stick and the bloody stake fell out and onto his lap.

William drifted in and out of consciousness. He remembered his door opening. Screams. More blood. A few kisses here and there. A siren. And then he woke up in the hospital. Dru was at large. But before she went missing she left something for William that he would never forget: his mother's death.

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><p><strong>AN: I hope you liked the second chapter. If you read my last story, _Mental_, you'd know I love writing Drusilla's dialogue and characterization. I think my favorite line in this is the "Curtled babies," line and the one about demon puss.**

**So send me a review, tell me what you liked, what you hated, anything! Also remember to let me know how often you'd like me to update. Thanks for reading. :D**


	3. Spike

**A/N: So no one told me when they wanted me to update...actually I only got one review so I'm going to assume once a week is good unless I'm told otherwise. I'm thinking Wednesday is a good day, however that might mean in the wee early hours (like this one) or toward the end of the night. **

**So this is chapter 3. I hope you enjoy.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3: Spike<strong>

William awoke in a hospital bed a day after Dru attacked him. He remembered bits and pieces. He remember inviting her over for a very sexy surprise, bring her upstairs, kissing. Then he remembered pain. She pounded a spike through his hand. And then his other hand. And then she smiled as she pushed one through his forehead.

Automatically William reached up to touch his eyebrow with one of his bandaged hands; his free fingers felt the padding of another bandage across the top of his head. He let out a sigh and turned to his side, expecting his mother to be there waiting by his side. She wasn't there.

He could remember screams, his mother's screams, but that couldn't be right. She wasn't home. She wasn't there. She had been spared from Dru's attack. She was probably just in the hospital cafeteria drinking some tea to calm her nerves about the incident. Yes, that was his mother always nervous and always drinking tea. He smiled glad to know that when he was released everything would return to just as it was.

A middle-aged man with a white lab coat walked through the entrance to the hospital room. "Ah, William, you've awoken."

"I have, mate. Where's me mum?" William asked.

The doctored stared at William then swallowed before changing the subject. "You vitals are fine. You can be released as soon as your brother arrived."

William stared at the doctor. "Brother? What about me mum? Where's me mum?" William began to scream.

The doctored looked down at the floor avoiding eye contact with William.

"Doc? Me mum! What happened? Tell me! Please!" William could feel tears welding up in his eyes. He was never any good at keep his emotions under control.

"I'm afraid," the doctor said, turning his head back up and staring William in the eyes, "that your mother did not survive the attack."

At that moment William broke. He fell against the pillow on his bed and felt the world slip away. His mother; his life; how could he go on?

Hours went by but for him it only seemed like moments. "William?" he heard an almost familiar voice said. He didn't look to the speaker. He just let his thoughts continue to drift off. Drusilla had ruined his life. He was no longer William. But then what was he?

He could still feel a slight burning in his hand. He remembered what Dru had used to destroy his life. Spikes. Yes, if he was no longer William then he could be Spike.

Spike, as he was now calling himself, was released from the hospital later that day. His brother brought him back to his house. They would stay for their mother's funeral and then leave for the States. His brother left Spike to pack while he visited the embassy with his wife in order to secure the proper documentation to take Spike out of the country.

Spike began to go through his clothes and realized just how much he hated what he wore. He slammed the draws on his dresser and left the room. He walked toward his mother's room and had to force himself to enter. He crept through as if being there was taboo.

It was a neat room, as it had always been. Spike's mother had been a terrific housekeep. Spike cringed realizing he was already using the past tense while thinking of his mother. He looked around the room. On the coat rack hanged her few jackets and a pocketbook. Spike walked over and picked the pink purse up, opened it and fished through its inners. He pulled out a wade of cash rolled up. It was supposed to be for groceries. He knew the money wouldn't be needed for that now and took it for himself, telling himself it was inheritance. It didn't change the fact that in the back of his mind he felt like he was robbing the dead.

With a wad of cash in his pocket Spike left the house and made his way towards the shopping center. With his new name, Spike, and being forced to move to America Spike thought he'd should change his image too. He bought various shirts in dark colors, some jeans, and a after buying a long leather duster Spike felt that his image was complete. On his way back home with many bags in his hand he dropped into a corner shop and asked clerk for a pack of smokes. He dropped the package into the pockets of his new duster, which he was already wearing, and made his way home. He finished packing up his new clothes and a few old trinkets that held sentimental value to him before his brother arrived home.

The new and improved Spike was ready to go to America.

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><p><strong>AN: Spike will move to Sunnydale and meet some of the Scoobies next chapter. I hope you liked this chapter and please review. Thanks for reading!**


	4. Willow

**A/N: Thanks to the suggest of Viewtiful Vampa chapters 1-3 have been to take out accents. I've also asked Marajade13 to help me edit said accents even more so once she sends me a PM back I may be making even more edits. I am sorry that I made you deal with such horrible accents, however I now have the idea that Spike should play up his accent because he's recreated himself. If this gets too annoying please don't hesitant to tell me and/or find and strangle me...on second thought just tell me. I like breathing. **

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><p><strong>Chapter 4: Willow<strong>

"William Pratt, sophomore of East London Secondary School," Principal Flutie read from Spike's transcript, "Straight A student, not much for extracurricular activities, though."

"I had to help take care of me Mum," Spike explained, "She was very old and sickly. Besides, school activities are more of an American thing. "

"Well that's all good and well, William—"

"Spike," Spike interrupted.

Principal Flutie stared at Spike confused.

"I go by Spike."

After a few more seconds of dazed staring and then Principal Flutie continued. "William I just want you to understand that Sunnydale is big on school spirit."

Spike rolled his eyes.

"I don't know how you do things in Britain. You've got that royal family and all kinds of problems, but here at Sunnydale we support each other. So get involved. Join a club. I know, you can help out designing decorations for the Pep Rally and Homecoming Dance. The cheerleaders could always use to some extra hands."

"Cheerleaders?" Spike questioned. He had seen enough American high school dramas to know that cheerleaders were the bitches he didn't want to get stuck hangout around.

"Oh yes. They're such nice girls, always volunteering and so filled with school spirit. They'll have sign up tables during lunch so make sure you stop by."

"I'll…remember that," Spike said, choosing his words carefully. He really wanted to get out of the principal's office. The principal handed Spike his schedule and excused the boy. Spike skedaddled from the office as quickly as he could and found his first class.

The school was much smaller than his old one back in London but he was still lost due to unfamiliarity. While looking at his schedule he accidentally walked into another student, knocking her to the ground.

"I am so sorry," Spike said. He looked at the ground to see a redheaded girl and her books scattered on the floor. She began to quietly pick them up and Spike helped. He handed them to her. "Once again, I'm sorry."

"You're new," the girl said.

"Uh, actually I prefer Spike." He smiled and extended one of his still bandaged hand.

"Oh, right," she said, switching all of her books to her left arm and accepting his hand. "Willow…is me…my name that is."

"Willow, huh?" Spike said, walking with her in the opposite direction of where he was originally headed. As if he knew where he was going. "Well then I think our similarities in names means we are just destined to be friends."

"Spike and Willow? That doesn't sound too similar to me."

Spike smirked again. "Sorry, Red. Legal name's William. Spike's a nickname."

"Oh. How'd you wind up with a nickname like Spike? Not that I don't like it. It sounds…"

"Dangerous?"

"Yeah!" Willow giggled a little. She stopped in front of the door to a classroom but did not enter. Instead she waited in the door frame talking to Spike.

"Well that's a story for another day. I don't know just how trustworthy you are."

"Oh, I'm very trustworthy, trust me."

Spike raised his newly scarred eyebrow, pointing out to Willow just how ridiculous that statement had been.

"Oh, well, duh. But you'll see. One day. Very trustworthy. I never tell secrets." She babbled on while starring at Spike's eyebrow.

A little self-conscious about it Spike touched his eyebrow, remembered what happened, then looked away. He then saw Willow's eyes move from the eyebrow to the bandages on his hands.

"Another day?" Willow asked. She took a peak into the classroom. It was half filled.

"I'm holding you up from class, huh?" Spike asked. He knew what was going through her mind. Once again he had watched enough American teen drama to know that Willow was the geeky smart girl who would freak out if she just got an A minus on a paper and was not only never late to class but always the first one in.

"Nah, we got, like, two minutes before class states. But what about you? Do you know where you class is?"

Spike smirked, "Plannin' on just roaming until a teacher finds me, calls me a dumb sod, and then directs me my way."

"Good plan," Willow said, rolling her eyes. She grabbed Spike's schedule from him and told him where his class was.

"Aw, thanks for ruining my fun, Red."

"Goodbye, Spike."

Spike somehow got through to lunch without incident. He was way behind the rest of his classmates, mainly because England had a different curriculum and more English-centric assignments, but word around school was that Willow was the one to, privately and out of sight, get tutoring from. He found her eating alone on the lawn and joined her.

Spike realized where he was in Willow's teen drama life. He was the new bad boy, at least in his own mind, that came to Willow's rescue to show her how life wasn't so bad. He would probably be her only friend, at least until the rest of the school realized just how cool she was and then the captain of the football team would ask her out but she would say no because then she would realize she was in love with best friend…which would be him…

Spike imagined this all while staring at Willow.

"What?" she asked, "Is there something on my face."

"Huh?" Spike said, "Oh, sorry. Day dreamin' I guess."

Another person, a boy, sat down with them. "Hey Will," he said, "Who's your friend?"

"Xand, this is Spike. Spike this is Xander," Willow introduced then giggled, "Spike's British."

"Really?" Xander asked, "Say bloody!"

"I'm not 'ere for ya amusement, boy!" Spike sneered. He secretly played up his accent.

"So, how'd you wind up in Sunnydale?" Xander asked while taking a bite of his sandwich.

"My big brother lives 'ere. Didn't really get much of a choice."

Xander plopped a chip into his mouth.

"What about your parents?" Willow asked. Spike looked at the ground and stayed quiet. "Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to pry. You don't have to answer that. Just forget I said it. Oh, I'm so dumb!"

Spike looked up with a sad smile on his lips. "Nonsense, Luv, it was a reasonable question. Most folks got parents I suppose. Just not me. Never had a dad. He left when I was a baby. Guess he thought I'd be too much trouble and got out while he could. And me Mum…well her loss is much more recent. It still digs at me heart."

"Aw, I'm so sorry," Willow said. She reached over and put a hand on Spike's shoulder to comfort him.

"Parents aren't all they're cracked up to be, anyway," Xander said.

"My Mum was." He had a genuine smile on his face while he thought about her. "She was so kind and selfless. She only wanted the best for me. She'd read my poetry and buy me books. She was struggling just to get by but somehow she was always able to afford a little treat for me every once in a while."

Spike averted his eyes again. "I miss her. I still can't believe she's gone."

"What happened?" Willow asked, "I mean, you don't have to answer that. But if you want to…was it long and drawn out? Cancer? Where the medical bills racking up? Or was it quick and painless like a car accident or something?"

"There were medical bills," Spike said, "She was very sick. But her death was completely unrelated and unpredictable. If you don't mind I'd rather not talk about this anymore."

"Alright," Willow said and the three ate in uncomfortable silence.

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><p><strong>AN: Please review, tell me what you loved, hated, etc. Thanks for reading! :D**


	5. Harmony

**A/N: Sorry that I didn't post last week, I was very sick and didn't want to even think about writing, editing or updating. However I should make a note about my updating: I'm still debating participating in National Novel Writing Month and if I decide to once again join in the craziness then I'll had to put this fic on hiatus. I apology but the fact that I can fit in writing, editing and updating at all between my 17 credits of classes, pledging a sorority and being in the university's marching band is insane already and unfortuanlly if I decide to do NaNoWriMo this is one of the smaller unimportant things (in comparison) that will have to be cut. I'll will continue in first week of December. Once again this is only if I decide to do NaNo, which is still up in the air.**

**A note about NaNoWriMo, for those of you who have time you should really consider participating in it if you enjoy writing. You can even write a fan fic you'd like. It's a great experience and will teach you more about writing in such a short about of time then you ever thought possible.**

**_Marajade13_: I'd like to point out that Spike a slightly different person than he is on the TV show simply due to the fact that he human and born in a different century. I am trying to stay true to his characterization but certain life facts about him have been changed. However about your question of what a sophomore is, it is the same grade Buffy was in in the first season. Here it is also called 10th grade, and I'm not sure about in the UK but I know in France it would be called grade 3. I hope that clarifies things. **

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><p>Chapter 5-Harmony<p>

"Loser!" a brunette said as Spike walked into his 7th period class. He handed a note to the teacher and found the only available which happened to be in front of her blonde friend.

"I don't know," the blonde one said, "I think he's kind of cute." She reach forward and ran her hand through his bleached hair.

"Hey! Sittin' right hear. Hearin' every word you've been sayin' and feelin' every touch you been…touchin'," Spike sneered. He hunched over his desk, out of reach of the vixen.

"Aw! You don't want to play?" complained the blonde.

The teacher began class and Spike tried to ignore the girls behind him. It was easy because their conversation of prada bags and coach shoes, or whatever those fancy companies made, was boring him to tears. Class ended and Spike stood up ready to escape the school. He was caught by a very soft hand who had grabbed his own hand. He winced because the hand still hurt.

He looked back to see the blonde from earlier had grasped his hand. "Ya know what, keep the hand. Let me just find a knife to cut it off my wrist."

She giggled. "It's the not hand that I was silly." She was forward. The classroom was clearing out but the teacher still sat at the desk. She pulled Spike along, refusing to let go of him. She pulled him down the hallway and into an empty classroom. Then she pushed him against the wall and placed her lips against his.

Spike didn't protest. The blonde girl may have annoyed him like Hell but she was obviously experienced and a good kisser. The girl began to unbutton his shirt and Spike asked himself if that was really how he wanted to lose his virginity. In an empty classroom with a blonde bimbo who he had just met instead of with a girl who he had fallen in love with. And he decided, why the Hell not? He didn't have a good track record with girls, after all, his last and only girlfriend was been a psycho nut who killed his mother.

Just as the girl began to unbutton his pants the door to the classroom opened.

"Oh my God!" yelled a mortified Mr. Flutie.

Spike pushed the girl off of him, not hard enough to hurt but enough to space each other apart to a reasonable distance. "Um…I can explain…" Spike said, trying to rack his brains for an explanation.

"We were about to have sex!" the girl cheered happily.

Spike's head then met his palm.

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><p><strong>AN: That chapter was fun to write. I enjoy how much a ditz Harmony is. I hope you like it to. Please review! :D**


	6. Buffy

**A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in forever but at least I'm giving you all a give of the first chapter. And I'm introducing Buffy, the love interest so yay! I'll try to remember to update next week. **

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><p>Chapter 6-Buffy<p>

Spike leaned against a concrete wall as he took out his pack of cigarettes. He placed one in his mouth and then brought his lighter up and lit it. He took a long drag and felt his muscles relax. He started smoking right before he left England and now, a few months later, his nicotine addiction was starting to get out of hand but Spike tried not to worry himself with such things. Or at least he tried to appear as if he wasn't worrying. The truth was he knew it was horrible habit, but every time he tried to quit he started having nightmares about his mother and Drusilla. So he continued smoking, against the wishes of his two best friends.

After a long drag Spike looked over across the schoolyard to see an unrecognizable girl with blond hair get out of a car and walk to the school. He wondered if she was the new girl everyone had been talking about during the past week.

Xander skated towards Spike, his head watching the new girl, and fell into the stairs. Spike could not suppress a smirk. Willow quickly appeared by Xander's side as Spike walked over to help his friend up. Sure that Xander was okay Spike allowed himself to be distracted by watching the new girl walking in the other direction as her butt swayed side to side.

"Nice view, huh," Xander commented.

"Huh?" Spike said, being brought out of his day dream. The things he wanted to hit that butt with!

"You two are despicable, sexualizing a woman like that."

Xander and Willow began to talk about math homework but Spike began to walk up the stairs and towards the school. He was entranced by the new blonde girl.

Spike and Xander walked across the quad and found Willow sitting and eating lunch with the new girl. Xander hopped over a wall and squeezed his way between the girls while Spike took a seat in front of them on the grass.

"Hey," Spike said, smiling at the blonde and ignoring his friend.

"Buffy," Willow said, stating the new girl's name, "This is Spike and that's Xander."

Xander began to babble on about how he had met Buffy earlier and Spike accused him of idiocy, which Xander did not deny.

"So what do you do for fun?" Xander interrogated, "What do you like? What do you look for in a man? Let's hear it!"

"If you have any dark, painful secrets you'd like us to publish?" Spike said, mocking Xander more than the new girl.

"Gee, everyone wants to know about me. How keen!"

"Well not much goes on in a one Starbucks town like Sunnydale," Xander said. "You're pretty big news."

"Ah, leave the poor bugger alone," Spike said, "She'll share when she wants to."

"Aw," Willow said, "Spike's upset that the new new kid is getting all the attention."

"Don't worry, Spike, as soon as we find out all her secrets we'll be back to prying into your life."

"I've been here for four months and all you've learn is Spike's a nickname and blond's not my natural colour."

"Spike's a nickname?" Buffy questioned, "What's your real name."

Spike starred at Buffy for a moment. "On second thought, let the prying continue."

"No, no," Willow insistence, "You wanted the attention back so here it is. When's your birthday."

"Last Saturday," Spike lied, "Ya buggers missed. Damn ya, bad mates!"

"What's your favorite color?" Xander asked.

"Pink!" Spike lied again, "It's so manly."

"What's your mother's maiden name?" Buffy joined in. Xander and Willow looked at Buffy while Spike averted his eyes once again. "Did I say something wrong?" she asked, noticing Spike's lack of gaze.

"No," Spike said. He turned back to her, forcing a smiling, "Me Mum's maiden name was O'Connor."

"Was?" Buffy asked.

"That's Irish," Willow pointed out.

"Ah, and Red untangles a little more of the mystery. Only took you four months. Let's see how much you know by the end of the year." Spike looked at Buffy. "Care to play along too, Pet; never had a dad; me Mum died four months ago, live with me brother…I'm English too, now yer all caught up."

Buffy swallowed nervous.

Spike arrived at the Bronze and snuck in illegally through the backdoor. Even though his brother was very well off he still liked the rush of breaking the law and often did things like shop lifting and sneaking into places for free. The backdoor led straight up stairs and Spike leaned across the railing and looked down below. He spotted Willow with the new girl and thought about joining them, but decided he'd watch instead. He knew you could learn a lot about a person by observation.

His observation as cut short, though, when Buffy noticed him and ditched Willow for him. "Hey," she said while joining him in his lean against the rail.

"Hey," Spike responded. They stood like that for a few moments, in a comfortable silence.

"So…"Buffy started, "Will you tell me you big dark secrets?"

"Not in this lifetime, Pet," he said coyly."

"That's okay." Buffy smirked. She turned her head and looked at him just as he turned to look at her. "I like a good mystery."

"How about you? What's your story?"

"No, that's not fair. If I share you share."

"Alright, Luv, twenty questions it is. But only because I too am curious."

"Why'd you leave England?" Buffy asked.

"Now, now, did I say you could start?" Spike taunted.

"You're avoiding the question!" Buffy complained.

"The game was my idea. I ask first."

Buffy pushed herself off the railing and crossed her arms. "Fine." She walked over to a nearby table on the second floor and Spike joined her. They sat down across from each other and Spike stared into her green eyes. "Ask away!"

"Where're ya from? Why'd ya leave?"

"That's two questions!" Buffy objected.

"Fine! Where're ya from?"

"L.A."

"Why'd you leave England?" Buffy asked.

Spike averted his eyes.

"No fair! This game isn't one sided. You have to answer my question or you'll get nothing else from me."

"I didn't really 'ave much of a choice," Spike said. He looked back up. "Alright," he said, "Why'd ya—"

"Hey! Not fair. You need to expand on that. Not much of a choice isn't much of an answer."

Spike sighed, "When me Mum died I had nowhere to go but with me brother. He lived in Sunnydale, hence I came to Sunnydale. Now, why did ya leave L.A.? And since I expanded on my explanation saying yer parents moved 'ere won't count. Why did yer parents move ya here?"

"I kinda, sorta, got into a lot of trouble back in L.A."

"What kind of trouble?" Spike asked.

"Wait, your turn. That can be your third question." Spike growling a little but he let her finish answering the question. "My parents got divorced and my Mom moved us here."

"Us?"

"I guess that's question number four."

Spike rolled his eyes.

"Tell me about your brother."

"That's not a question," Spike pointed out.

"Fine! What's your brother like?"

Spike smirked. "He's annoying. We fight a lot and he thinks he's in charge, but who died and made him king…you know, other than me mum. I really can't stand him. I made up all these nicknames just to get on his nerves, like Peaches, and Poof and my favorite, Captain Forehead…he's got a really big forehead…and stupid hair to match!"

Buffy giggled at Spike's explanation of his brother.

"Okay, now what kind of trouble did you get into in L.A.?" Spike asked

"Burned down my school gym," Buffy said matter-a-factly.

Spike raised his scarred eyebrow which Buffy, like everyone else always did, began to stare at.

"How'd you get that scar?" she asked.

"No, no, Luv, you have to answer my question. No lyin'."

"I wasn't lying," Buffy said defensively.

"Ya really burnt down yer school gym?"

"Yes!"

"…why?"

"Well…it was full of asbestos? Truth is I got stuck hanging out with the wrong crowd. I made mistakes."

"I get that," Spike said, "Hell this scar," he pointed to his eyebrow which she was still staring, "is a reminder of one Hell of a mistake."

"Wanna tell me about it?" Buffy pried.

"Honestly. I'd rather we not play this anymore. It bring back some pretty horrible memories I buried away months ago. Sorry, Luv."

"It's okay," Buffy said. She reached across the table and squeezed Spike's hand.

After a few minutes of silence Spike spoke up again, "This place is starting to bore me. Wanna get out of here?"

"Where else is there to go? I thought this was the only cool place in Sunnydale."

Spike just responded by continuing to hold on to Buffy's hand and dragging her out of the club. He walked her down Main Street and towards a magic shop. They stopped in front of the store and Spike began to pick the lock.

"Spike, are we breaking and entering? Why? To steal a potion?"

He opened the locked and pulled Buffy in without saying a word. He walked straight over to the counter, hopped onto it and swung his legs over to the other side and then jumped down. He knelt looking for something in particular and when he found it he brought it up to show Buffy.

"Liquor?" Buffy questioned the bottle.

"Only the finest for my fellow teenage rebel."

Buffy grabbed the bottle from Spike, uncapped it, and took a swig of it. "Uh!" her face twisted in disgust.

"Okay, perhaps not the finest, but it'll do its job. Spike jumped over the counter, repeating his performance from before, and led Buffy over to a table where they could sit down and get drunk. They began to chug the alcohol and in under a half hour the effects of it began to kick in.

"So how'd you know to find this alcohol here? Does you," Buffy asked, already a little tipsy, "have a job here or something?"

Spike took a sip of the alcohol. "We still playing that question game. What is it, we're still on the 4th question?"

"Uh-huh. But I'm pretty sure I had another question. Oh I forgot. How'd you know about this liquor?"

"My sister-in-law owns the place."

"Sister-in-law? Tell me about your sister-in-law!" Buffy said a little too excited.

"Right after you tell me about the rest of your family. You said you moved here with your mum and someone else. Who? Yer sister? Brother? Pet?"

"My sister," Buffy said, "Her's name's Dawn. She's younger and really annoying."

"All siblings are annoying, Luv."

"Now tell me about your sister-in-law!" Buffy begged.

"Can't stand her. She tries to be my mum, but you know what, I had a mum and no one can ever replace her, God rest her soul. And what's really annoying is how she's got this whole hippy, California parenting style that you know she's been reading about in Cosmo or whatever."

"Oh my God!" Buffy said with complete revelation, "My mom does the same thing!

She then began to laugh uncontrollably, but then stopped in all seriousness and said, "I think I'm drunk." Then she began to laugh uncontrollable again.

The two finished off the bottle and at some point landed on the floor. "Sleepy," Buffy said and began to cuddle with Spike. She fell asleep on his chest and a few minutes later Spike dozed off.

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><p><strong>AN: I hope you liked that. Please review. It inspires me to update. :D  
><strong>


	7. Darla

**A/N: Updating twice in one week, isn't this a treat? I hope this is a short chapter but it finally confirmed who Spike's brother is (who you have already guess) and is important to the future plot. Also it gives us a snap shot at Spike's home life.**

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><p>Chapter 7- Darla<p>

Spike woke up to a hard kick in the side. He jerked, tossing the blonde girl sleeping on him off and onto the floor. She moaned. Spike looked around his surroundings. He was in his sister-in-law's magic shop. "Oh, bugger!" he exclaimed.

"What the Hell happened here?" a voice said. Spike looked up to see the in-law, Darla, standing above him holding the bottle on alcohol that he and Buffy finished off the previous night.

"Um…opps?" he said.

"Who is she?" Darla asked.

Spike looked over to his side to see Buffy still asleep on the floor.

"That's Buffy," Spike said matter-a-factly.

"And who is Buffy?"

Though Buffy was in fact new in Spike's life Spike knew he could use that question to his advantage. "Of course ya don't know who Buffy is. Ya don't know who any of my friends are. Can't ya see this whole drinking this is just a cry for attention. Attent me!"

"Nice try," Darla said, not buying Spike's little performance. The truth was, though, even though Spike would never admit it, it was almost true. The reason he did act out was because he felt abandoned. His mother was dead and his brother and brother's wife weren't very good replacements. "You are in so much trouble!" Darla said.

"Oh, what's the big deal?" Spike said. He finally stood up, but did so a little too fast and needed to lean on Darla for balance. Darla helped him over to a chair. "Ow! My head's killin'."

"It's a Thursday. You're supposed to be at school. Instead you're in my magic shop with a hangover sleeping with Bambi."

"Uh, her name is Buffy and I didn't shag her or anything."

Darla sighed. "I'm calling your brother." Spike jumped out of his seat, once again too fast and then fell back on the chair. Buffy, on the floor, began to stir.

"There's not need to call. I'll just take yer car."

"You are not touching the Plymouth," Darla sneered.

"No need to get yer knickers in a twist. You can drive us. And no need to tell the big brother, right?"

"You are in so much trouble!" Spike's brother, Angel, said as he entered his house. He had come home late, hoping to avoid his brother, but not too late because he knew that would only anger him more. It was around eightish and had spent the day with Willow and Xander.

Spike walked into the living room where both Angel and Darla sat. He glared at Darla. "Thanks, Vixen!"

Angel's neck snapped as he turned to Darla. "You were covering for him?"

Darla put on her most sincere smile, "He tried sneaking in this morning," Darla lied, "To get some clean clothes and his books. I brought him in, late. But you already knew he didn't come home last night and that he was late to school today."

Angel stared at his wife, trying to read her for any signs of deception. "And that's all you know?"

"Yes sweetheart."

Satisfied with his wife's response he turned back to Spike. "What the Hell did you do last night?"

"Nothing! Stayed out with some friends. We lost track of time, fell asleep. There were no alarms to wake us up. I'm sorry, but I didn't do anything wrong. I'm a good boy, you know that."

Angel folded his arms, which told Spike he wasn't going to accept his excuse. Spike sat down in the lazy boy in front of Angel and waiting for his rant.

"You've been nothing but trouble since you got here," Angel said, while standing up and pacing. "Between the things you did with that Harmonica girl."

"Harmony," Spike corrected.

"And the drinking and the partying and the skipping school. I'm sick of it, William!"

"Spike," Spike corrected.

Angel stopped pacing and raised eyebrow at his younger brother. "Do you realize how sick that is? That crazy girl killed our mother and almost kill you and you decided to name yourself after her weapon of choice? That's…that's disgusting! That's mental! There is something wrong with you." Angel continued his pacing. "You, you need help. Psychological help."

"Now Angel," Darla jumped in for Spike's defense, but Angel cut her off.

"No!" Angel yelled, "Don't back out on this. You agreed with me that he's mentally sick."

"Angel, I never used those words," Darla defended, "And you're angry right now. This subject needs to be handed a lot more sensitively."

"What the Hell are you two bloody talking about?" Spike asked while standing up. He and Angel glared at each other.

"William, sweetie," Darla said, "your brother and I think that it would be best if you talked with someone about these…feelings and thoughts you've been having."

"We're sending you to a psychiatrist," Angel said bluntly.

"I don't need a bloody shrink," Spike protested, but Angel and Darla wouldn't budge.

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><p><strong>AN: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please read and review. If I don't fall behind on school work I'll update again on Wednesday. **


	8. Spuffy

**A/N: Wow, I'm actually updating in a timely fashion. Who'da'thuk? You should totally review as a reward for me updating.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 8- Spuffy<strong>

Spike walked into Sunnydale High School and went straight to his locker. He noticed Buffy talking with Cordelia and sighed. He hadn't spoken to her since Darla dropped the two of them off the previous day so he had no idea how much trouble he had gotten her in. He assumed a lot and that she was never going to talk to him again.

"Hey, Spikester," Xander said leaning against a close locker, "So how'd the sentencing go."

"I don't even wanna bloody talk about it right now," Spike sneered. He hastily pulled out a text book from the top of his locker, which made the pile underneath wobbly and spill over on him. "Oh, bloody Hell!" he swore and started throwing the books into the bottom of his locker not bothering to keep them neat.

"Wow, that bad?" Xander asked.

Spike responded with the slam of his locker. With his text book in hand he looked over to see if Buffy was still around, but she was long gone. He tossed the book into his backpack and began heading for class.

The school day went by uneventfully. At lunch he found a secluded spot to smoke a cigarette and then went looking for Xander and Willow. He was surprised to see Buffy sitting with them. He stood behind Buffy for a second while she talked before he took a seat next to her.

"So my mom went totally mental and put me on lockdown," Buffy said. She poked the school lunch on her tray with a fork and made a sour face. She took a bite and her next face seemed to confirm what she thought about the food.

"That's Spike for you, spoiling the innocent in less than 24 hours," teased Xander.

"Yeah, well big brother was no treat," Spike said and joined the group at the table. "Your mom might have went mental but my brother thinks I _am_ mental." He wasn't even touching his food.

"She thinks I'm starting to hang out with the wrong crowd again," continued Buffy while she ignored Spike's remarks, "Which, admitly is how I got in trouble at my last school. I stopped going to cheerleading practice and starting hanging out with this guy, Pike, and…well it ended real badly. But you guys aren't going to lead me to trouble…right…Willow and Xander?"

"Oh, I get her drunk once and all of a sudden I'm the token bad friend."

"Drunk on the first day you meet, not exactly the best first impression," Willow pointed out.

"You're forgetting what he did on _his_ first day," Xander said.

Buffy smirked. "What'd you do on your first day?" Buffy asked.

"Now Luv," Spike said, "We all know where asking questions leads us."

Willow decided to supply the answer, "He got caught by Principal Flutie making out with Harmony…and no pants."

"Hey!" Spike objected, "I was still wearing my pants…they were only halfway off."

Buffy raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, okay, I get your point. I'm the bad boy. Xander, Willow, keep her away from me."

"Nah," Willow said, reaching over to pat Spike on the shoulder, "We just got to tame you somehow."

"Anyway, Mom thinks if I get back into cheerleading then I'll stay out of trouble," Buffy said.

"Yes, because the cheerleaders are just the angels of the school," Spike said.

"Hence me making nice-nice with Cordelia. Besides, with me on the squad maybe I can up the coolness for this group."

"I've got enough coolness for the whole bloody state," Spike said.

"Do you ever shut up?" Buffy sneered.

Spike jumped back, shocked by Buffy's sudden outrage. There was silence for a few moments before Xander and Willow burst out in uncontrollable laughter. Buffy picked up her tray and started to get up when Willow said, "Please don't leave." She couldn't stop laughing though so Xander had to finish for her. "We're just glad someone has finally put Spike in his place."

"Oi!" Spike said.

Buffy sat down again. "Well I'm glad my talents are appreciated." She turned back to Spike. "If I wanted commentary then I'd buy one of those fancy DVDs. Now, I'm glad you're finally silence. Close you jaw, stay silent and eat your lunch already."

Spike thought about pointing out how he couldn't eat if his jaw was closed but he didn't want to piss Buffy off anymore. He complied and scooped a spoonful of what could only be described as mush into his mouth.

Spike was supposed to be grounded but he went to the Bronze after school anyway. He used a fake I.D. to buy some beer, which Buffy threw away when she noticed. He had only had a few sips. "Ya owe me six bucks," Spike said.

"You're sixteen!" Buffy said. They were sitting at a table waiting for Xander and Willow to arrive.

"So? You got drunk last night."

"Yeah, and I got the face from my mom. And I have to be home by eight. It's not even dark at eight. And it's all your fault; you and your booze."

Spike glared at her. Then he stood up. "I'm gonna buy another beer. If ya try to throw that one away I'm going to murder ya. I'm going to murder ya so much you won't know what happened…mainly because you'll be dead."

"Oh, shut up," Buffy said. She saw Willow and Xander entered and Spike used the distraction in order to sneak away and buy another beer. He finished that one at the bar. When he was done and tossed the bottle in the garbage and he joined his friends at the table again.

"Do you have, like, an addiction or something?" Buffy said when he sat down.

"What if I did? Wouldn't you feel bad for making fun of the poor sick man?"

Willow rolled her eyes. "You don't have an addiction Spike. Stop teasing poor Buffy."

"Maybe he doesn't have an addiction to alcohol like he wants me to believe," Buffy said. She was staring intensely at Spike. "But he's totally got one to attention."

"I beg yer pardon?" Spike said. "Sorry, Luv, but that's the opposite of what I want. I just want to be left alone."

"If that was true you'd be acting more like Willow, keeping under the radar. Instead you wear the most outrageous outfit. Seriously, a leather duster in this California weather? You act out, annoy people just for the fun of it, you were drinking earlier just to annoy me."

"So you've got me all figured out, Goldilocks?" Spike said. He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. "Been here four months and Will and Xand know nothing but you've got me figured out in two days?"

"You know what? I'm not going to deal with this. I've got to get home soon anyway." She turned to Xander and Willow. "Bye guys. It was great seeing you. We'll hang out some other time." She stood up, glared at Spike and then left. Spike followed her.

"Go away," she said when they got outside.

"This is my way home too."

Buffy tried to ignore him but he kept on pestering. "Wow, we must live pretty close," he said when they turned the same corner.

"You're only confirming my theory," Buffy said. "Now you've taken to stalking me just because I won't give you attention."

"I don't give a damn about what ya think about me," Spike lied. "And this really is my way home."

"Oh yeah, where do you live?" Buffy asked.

"As if I'd tell you. You'd probably stalk me."

"I think you've got the situation backwards," Buffy said. They turned onto Revello Drive. "Okay, my street. Go away now. Or are you going to follow me into my home and up to my bedroom and hide under the bed."

Spike took a sharp turn, walking down the pathway of a house and up onto the porch. Buffy stopped walking and watched.

"Oh, I don't buy for a second that you actually live there."

Spike reached the door and out his keys for the door.

"You're going to look pretty stupid once this bluff is over."

Spike placed the keys in the key whole. He turned it and opened the door. He turned around. "I ain't the one who's looking stupid, Luv."

Buffy's jaw was wide open for a few moments. Finally she walked across the front yard and pushed him out of the way and into the house. "You so stole that key."

"Oh yeah, I've stolen a key from every house in all of Sunnydale just so I could follow you home and pretend to be your neighbor."

"You live here? But it's so…normal…"

"Thanks." Spike sat down the on the couch while Buffy continued to look around. She looked at the mantel. "I don't remember inviting you in," Spike said.

Buffy ignored him. "But there's no pictures of you. Sure this isn't a break in?" She looked from one side to the other. "Wait a sec." She picked up a picture frame. Spike jumped to his feet to stop her from whatever it was she was planning.

"Don't touch that."

"Is this you?" She showed the frame to him. It was of a four year old Spike, his mother and a fourteen year old Angel right before he left for America.

Spike snatched the frame from her and put it back down on its face.

"You were so little and…cute!"

"Bugger off!"

Buffy then ran up the stairs. Spike growled then followed her. She had already found her way into his room. He followed her sitting on his bed and looking around.

"You've got the same set up as my house," Buffy said. "I knew you'd take the room furthest from adults, I did the same thing. She got out and walked over to the window. "And you've got a nice escape plan here."

She stepped away from the window and looked at the Ramones poster on the wall. "Now I'm positive you live here. This room screams Spike."

Spike sat on his bed and leaned against the headboard. "And what's your room look like. Spice Girls on the wall? Floor scattered with pompoms."

"Hey, I'm not a Sunnydale cheerleader yet." Buffy sat on the bed, across from Spike but still facing him. "Want to finish our question game?"

"I thought you were pissed at me."

"I'm a girl. I'm supposed to have mood swings. So, who's turn was it?"

"I don't know. I was really drunk last time I was playing."

"I'll go. Ever had a girlfriend?"

"Yeah the bitch that gave me this," Spike said and pointed at his eyebrow. "I've also been on and off with this bimbo Harmony."

"The one from the no pants incident?"

"My pants were half on!" Spike laughed. "But yeah…you ever have a boyfriend?"

"Tons. A new one practically every week. That is until I met Pike."

"You're one true love?"

"As if. Sure we ran away together but he was the biggest mistake of my life. Hence why I came back."

Spike leaned forward. Buffy was getting even more interesting. "You ran away?"

"To Las Vegas. We got fake I.D.s and he worked as a valet while I worked as a dealer wearing a really short skirt."

"So you must be pretty good with cards, then?"

"What's that, like three questions in a row. My turn…how much trouble are you in, like from the other night."

Spike leaned back against the headboard. "Tons. I told you that Captain Forehead thinks I'm mental, well I wasn't kidding. He's sending me to a head shirk." Spike broke eye contact with Buffy and stared out the window. "You were right."

"About what?"

"About me. About how I just want attention. I've got abandonment issues and stuff." He stared back at her. "Why the Hell am I telling you this? I haven't even told Xand and Will about this and I've know them a lot longer than you. It's barely been over forty-eight hours."

Buffy turned around on the bed and adjusted her body so that she was leaning against Spike's chest. He wrapped his arms around her. "Maybe, I don't know, we're, like, kindred spirits or something."

Down stairs a door opened and a male voice called up the stairs. "Spike, you better be home."

"Angel," he said to Buffy. "You better sneak out the window."

Buffy rolled her eyes and got off the bed. "I'm not jumping out the window." She headed for the door. Spike grabbed her arms and gave her a puppy dog pout. It wasn't working on her. She headed down the stairs anyway. Spike followed. Angel was at the bottom of the stairs. He looked at the teenagers with a mixture of confusion and anger.

"Hi Mr….um, Pratt?" she turned to Spike for conformation.

"O'Connor," Spike said.

"Mr. O'Connor. I'm Buffy. I'm a friend of Spike's from school."

Angel folded his arms. "Spike's grounded. He's not supposed to have friends over."

"Oh sod off," Spike said and walked past Angel and through the door.

"Get back in here Spike," Angel yelled.

Spike poked his head back inside. "I'm just going to walk her home. She lives down the street. Don't you want me to be a gentleman and such?"

Buffy walked past the two arguing brothers. "Really, I've got it covered." She gave Spike a kissed on the cheek and walked down the street. Spike watched from the porch and took note of the house she entered.

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><p><strong>AN: Aw, Buffy and Spike's relationship is finally starting. I hope you liked. Please, please, please review. :D  
><strong>


	9. Giles

**Chapter 9- Giles**

Spike entered the office of his new physiatrist. The man, Dr. Rupert Giles, sat in an arm chair the back of the room next to a large window. There was another chair, this one empty, across from him. Giles motioned to the chair.

"What, no couch? In all the movies there's a couch."

"I'll request a new shipment," the doctor said sarcastically. He had an accent; a British accent. Of all the physiatrists Angel could have sent him to he had to send him to a British one.

Spike took the seat and folded his arms. He avoided eye-contact.

"So, William, why are you here?"

"Because my brother bloody sent me!" Spike looked out at the window. "I don't want to be here and you can't make me talk."

"So we'll just sit here in silence then," Giles said. He started writing down some notes.

"What are you writing down?" Spike asked.

"Oh, nothing."

"Bloody tell me," Spike yelled. He reached for the clipboard but Giles pulled it away just in time.

"You're going to be a real pain in my arse, aren't you?" Giles said.

Spike leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms again. "Probably."

"Why don't you tell me about your brother?"

"Are you going to write it down?"

Giles sighed. He uncrossed his legs, adjusted himself in his seat and then cross them again. "So I'm assuming you're currently angry at your brother?"

"No shit. I can really see they give out the degrees to only the smartest."

Giles took of his glasses, wiped with them with the handkerchief and then put them back on. "Do you normally answer inquiries with sarcasm?"

"Are you expecting a sarcastic answer?"

Giles sighed. "Alright, what do you want to talk about?"

"Nothing. I don't want to bloody be here."

Once again Giles took his glasses off and wiped them. It seemed to be like a nervous tic, but instead of doing it while he was nervous he seemed to do it when he was annoyed. Spike wondered how many times he could make the man wipe off the glasses before the end of the session. It would be a game to him.

Giles put his glasses back on and wrote something else down.

"Can I go now?" Spike asked.

Giles' hand reached for his glasses. Spike let out a small chuckle. "What's so funny?" Giles asked. His hand lowered.

"Nothing. Just realizing how much of a fool you are."

"So you go to Sunnydale High?" Giles said.

Spike realized Giles was probably just trying to get into his head through a new angle. Spike wanted to convince Giles that he wanted to be nowhere near his head. "Depends on what you definition of go is."

"You bunk a lot?"

"A little. More often I'm getting suspended. I don't know why they haven't figured out to just expel me yet. Guess I'll have to shank a teacher or something."

Giles raised an eyebrow.

"However last time I tried that they said it was just because I was acting out and wanted more attention so they made me join the school play, which ended horribly, by the way…no one ever did figure out how my opposite lead ended up dead with her neck broke in the dressing room."

Giles stood up. "Excuse me." He left the room.

Spike laughed to himself. He had never shanked a teacher, killed fellow student or, dear God, star in a school play. He was just making up lies to mess with Giles head and it was a Hell of a lot of fun.

Spike waited in the room for a while. After about ten minutes Spike got up to leave the room. When he opened the door two security guards were standing next to it. They turned to see him. One reached for his baton.

"Go back inside," said the other one.

"Uh…the doc ditched me. Besides, I'm here voluntarily…well my brother sent me, but it's not court mandated or anything like that so in the eyes of the law it's voluntarily. And if the doc ain't here what's the use of staying?"

The first guard took his baton out of its holder. "Go back in side," he echoed the other guard's words.

Spike raised an eyebrow. He quickly debated what to do. He could either go back inside and wait for the doctor to come back after he realized the incidences were made up or Spike could try to get the Hell out of there now. Spike didn't much like waiting so he chose the later. He took a swing at the first guard and punched him squarly in the jaw. The second guard grabbed both his arms and pushed him again the wall. Spike felt a strike against his side and realized the guard he had punched was now hitting him with the baton. The guard who was holding him wrestled him to ground.

"We need backup," said at first guard into a walkie-talkie once he stopped hitting Spike.

Spike tried to throw the guards off him but soon more came and a doctor injected a needle into him. His eyes felt heavy and he fell asleep.

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><p><strong>AN: Please review! :D**


	10. Angel

Chapter 10- Angel

Spike woke up in an unfamiliar bed. The sheets were bright white. So was the walls of the room and the curtains that laid over the barred windows. At the side of the bed was Spike's brother Angel. Spike looked at his brother, searching for answers.l

"What the Hell is wrong with you?" Angel said.

"What the bloody Hell happened?" he asked with more confusion than anger. Where was he?

"You attacked the security guards…after confessing to murder?" The first part of the sentence seemed angry but Angel ended the sentence with confusion.

Spike sat up in the bed. He noticed restraints on the side and was glad he wasn't in them. "That was a joke, mate. The docs allowed play with my mind but I can't play with his?"

Angel grabbed Spike's hand. It scared Spike and he pulled away. "What is sodding wrong with you, you poof?"

Angel ran his fingers through his hair. "Spike, I'm concerned about you," Angel said. He voice slightly cracked. "I didn't send you to Dr. Giles as a punishment. I wanted him to help you. Please, I'm scared for you."

"Scared? You're scared. You just touched my hand, Angel, I'm the only one who has the right to be scared." Spike got out of bed. At that point he realized he was no longer in his traditional black clothes but instead white hospital scrubs, with no draw string on the pants. "Who bloody stole my clothes?"

"You'll get them back when you leave."

"Which will be when?" Spike started to pace back and forth while Angel watched from the chair at the side of the bed. "This was you're plan all along. Lock me up, huh? Couldn't wait for me to get caught doing something illegal, which, let's be honest is going to happen eventually, had do drive me insane, huh?"

"Spike, you're not staying here."

Spike stopped pacing. He spun around on his heel and faced Angel. They eyes met. "Come again?"

Angel stood up. "I explained to Dr. Giles that you were joking about that shanking and killing people, that it was just a cry for attention."

"I don't bloody want attention," Spike said. He started pacing again. "I just want to be left alone."

Angel walked over to Spike. He put his hands on Spike's shoulders and pulled him into a hug. Spike couldn't believe how Angel could see through the tough exterior that he had put up. Spike tried to fight it but tears started dripping down his face. Angel rubbed Spike's back while Spike sobbed, soaking Angel's shirt in the process. Spike trembled in Angel's arms.

"I miss Mum," he finally said.

Angel just continued to hold him.

After a few minutes the brothers let go and they sat on the bed. "What's going to happen?" Spike asked.

"Like I said, I told Dr. Giles you made that stuff up. He checked records which backed that up so he can't do anything legally. However he thinks you might be a danger to yourself and others. I'm scared that he might be right. I love you, kid, I don't know what I would do if I lose you like I lost mom." Angel started rubbing Spike's back again as Spike started to tremble again. "Don't worry Spike, Dr. Giles just wants to keep you for observation for a day or two."

"You are locking me up in here."

"No." Angel pulled Spike's head towards himself, letting Spike rest on his shoulder. "It'll just be a few days."

"And if the doctor thinks I need to stay longer."

"As long as you don't try convinced him you've got a doomsday device in our basement you'll be fine."

Spike smirked. "Who told you about that?"

Angel playfully pushed Spike off. Spike just bounced back onto Angel's shoulder. It was the first time since Spike was four years old that he felt close to his brother. Maybe things would get better.


	11. The Scoobies

Chapter 11- The Scoobies

"Where have you been?" Buffy asked when she saw Spike at school by her locker. It was three days after the incident at the institution and Spike had been released after Giles decided Spike was not a threat to himself or society. However Giles wanted to continue to work with Spike, concluding that he some sort of personality disorder but Spike wasn't sure which one because he stopped paying attention when Giles got into his psychobabble.

"You want the truth or what I plan on telling everyone else?" Spike said.

Buffy closed her locker, took Spike by the hand and led him into an empty classroom. She wrapped her arms around him for a few moments. "Is everything okay?" The two broke apart.

Spike folded his arms and leaned against a wall. "Captain Forehead made me go see this shrink…it ended with me being wrestled to the ground, drugged and institutionalized for a few days."

"You're brother institutionalized you?" Buffy asked in shock. She wobbled over to a seat and fell onto it, as if her legs could no longer support her.

"Nah, he tried to get me out of it but the damn doctor insisted because I told him I murdered some chick."

Buffy's head snapped up.

"I was joking, but the damn doctor can't take a joke."

Buffy stood up. "You're an idiot, Spike." She walked over to the door.

"I don't know why I do the things I do."

Buffy reached her arm over to Spike and grabbed his hand. She pulled him over, opened the door with her free hand and led him out of the classroom. Spike kind of like how Buffy took charge of their relationship and was very no-nonsense with him. She walked him over to his class, placed a gentle kiss on his lips and walked away.

"Did Buffy just kiss you?" Xander asked from behind. Spike jumped, surprised and unaware of his surroundings because he was lost in a daydream about Buffy.

"Uh, yeah, what's it to ya, Mate?" Spike walked into the classroom and took his seat.

Xander took the one next to him. "How they Hell do you get all these blonde girls? Do they like guys with the same color hair or something?"

Spike leaned back in his chair and let out a chuckle. "I can't explain it, Mate."

"I thought she hated you. What happened?"

Spike shrugged. "I'm pretty sure she still does. Love ain't brains, it's blood. And underneath all that fiery hatred is a fiery passion. She desires me."

Xander folded his arms. "She has no idea what she wants. If she did she wouldn't be with you."

Spike raised his eyebrow. "Jealous much."

"As if. She'll figure out your good for nothing eventually."

There was a lot of spite behind Xander words. It surprised Spike. He had thought he and Xander were best mates but if that was true then Xander wouldn't have let a girl get between them.

Spike stood up from his seat as soon as the teacher entered the room. He headed for the door. "Leaving so soon, Mr. Pratt, after ditching my class three times already this week?" the teacher said.

"I was in a sodding institution," Spike said to her. He pushed his way past her and into the hallway. He didn't care that he just revealed to his whole class that he was crazy and by lunch the whole school would know. Spike just realized that he didn't know how he could trust. He thought Xander and Willow were his friends but did they just hang out with him because no one else would?

And what about his new relationship with Buffy? She obviously didn't like him, but there was some sort of passion between them. That's what he thought at least, but what if he was wrong. What if Buffy was just some blonde bitch and he was just a game to her? And what about Angel? Did Angel actually care about him or was he just pretending to because of guilt over their mother?

Then Spike collided with another student. When Spike found his balanced he noticed the person he knocked over was Willow. He helped her up and started to walk away but she followed him.

"Been out of school for three days and ditching again already?" she said.

"And what's your excuse for being out of class?" Spike said. He turned a sharp corner and headed toward the exit door.

"Getting a book from the library."

Spike reached the door.

"Spike, please don't ditch school."

Spike turned around. He saw Willow staring at the ground with a puppy dog pout on her face.

"My exgirlfriend gave me the scar," he said.

"What?"

"Her name was Drusilla. She was my first luv. She was batshit insane too. She attacked me, plunged me with metal spikes and murdered my mother."

"Metal spikes? Like your name?" Spike could tell Willow was horrified by so much of what he just said.

"That's where it comes from. And then I come here and the only girl I can attract is that ditz Harmony. And I've got you and Xander for mates, and you two are great. You two are the best friends a guy with no emotion could have. But then Buffy came here and she screwed everything up. I really like her. A lot. I feel safe with her and that scares me."

"Oh, Spike, that's a good thing." Willow was smiling now, though horror still shined behind her smile.

"And then I went to see that stupid shrink that Angel's making me see, and I ended up in an institution for a few days for observation; that's why I wasn't here."

"Oh my god." Sad face again.

"But Angel and I had a heart to heart and now we're getting along and that just doesn't make sense."

"Yay?" Willow's face was confused.

"And today Buffy and I had our first kiss, which should've been really great but now Xander's piss at me for no reason. I guess he likes her. But screw him, Buffy's an independent woman, she can choose whoever the Hell she wants to. The only problem is, now I'm questioning everything. Is Xander really my friend? Are you really my friend? What the Hell is going on with Buffy? What does that mean for me and Harmony? Why the Hell do I care about what happens to Harmony? Why the Hell am I getting along with Angel? Is he actually a good person on the inside? Does he actually care about me?"

Tears started rolling down Spike's face. "Why did he leave me when I was four?" Spike continued, "Why did my Dad leave after I was born? Why did my mom have to die? Why did I let that monster into my house? Why do I still love Dru?"

"Oh Spike," Willow said. She walked forward, but Spike took a few steps backwards trying to evade her. He fell backwards onto door, which swung open and he fell onto the ground. "Spike!" Willow said and ran to try to catch him.

Spike's head hit the pavement, bounced back up then hit it again. He started laughing. And crying. He couldn't stop.

"Spike are you okay?" Willow was kneeling by Spike's side. She touched his head.

Finally Spike calmed down. He got up. He looked Willow straight in the eyes, gave her a hug and then walked away. He left the school grounds, content on never coming back.

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><p><strong>AN: Basically my goal in this chapter was to convey that poor Spike is just broken. I hope I did it well. Please review. **


	12. Love

**A/N: I'd like to thank everyone who came along on this ride. You reward: The final chapter.**

**Hazzelll: I sorry if Spike's slur offend you but I am honestly only using words he actually used on the show. Spike is the type of person to say those words and I will not censor my writing in order to be PC. If you have a problem with that word please take it up with the Joss Whedon, however I should point out that Spike using that word is just apart of his characterization. I dont' believe in censorship no matter how disgraceful it may be. **

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><p><strong>Chapter 12- Love<strong>

Spike had gone home. No one was there. No one would be there for hours. Darla was at the magic shop and Angel was working late. Spike stood in the bathroom with a razor in his right hand debating whether or not to open his left wrists.

Nothing made sense anymore, and it wasn't just because he probably had a concussion. Everything was changing so fast. He no longer knew who the people he was closest with were.

He missed his mother. She was always so kind to him. She died so horribly and it wasn't fair. He blamed himself. He let that monster in.

He missed Drusilla, at least before she went all psycho-killer. Despite what she did to him, how she destroyed his family and his life he still loved her. She was his first love and nothing would ever change that. She helped him grow, taught him to look at the world in a different way, to grow a sense of humor and childlike enjoyment.

He was grateful to have a friend like Willow but scared that she would wise up and realize he was good for nothing. Or worst that he would be a bad influence on her and destroy her innocence.

He hated Xander for being a fake. Xander didn't care about him. He was only Spike's friend because he wanted a bigger loser to compare himself to. Xander was petty and they weren't best mates like Spike thought. Worst than that Spike realized without Xander as his friend he would have to buy his own PlayStation.

Cordelia was a bitch that Spike wanted nothing to do with but somewhere deep inside Spike did have feelings for her best friend, perhaps not love but at least pity. He felt back for Harmony. He felt bad for the way everyone abused her. He knew other than Cordelia he was the biggest perpetrator of her abuse. In reflection he felt guilty about that. Even Harmony deserved better than him.

Spike even felt guilty about the way he abused Darla. Darla only wanted to help take care of Spike. She didn't want to replace his mother, but to give Spike an easier transition and help ease the pain of his loss. But Spike never even gave her a chance.

He never gave Angel a chance either. He always mocked Angel and disobeyed him. He didn't realize until it was too late that Angel actually cared.

And then there was Buffy. Spike felt an emotional connection to her that he had never felt before. For the first time since his mother died he felt whole. He couldn't comprehend these feelings or understand where they came from. All Spike knew was that he was in love. He and Buffy belonged together.

So Spike continued to stand there with a razor at his wrist unable to decide what he should do. He should do it for his mother. For Drusilla, Willow, Xander, Harmony, Darla and Angel. But he couldn't do that to Buffy. It would break her heart. She would blame herself. It would destroy her.

Spike put the razor down. He sat down on the tile floor, pulled himself into the fetal position and cried. He rocked himself back and forth a couple times.

_Crack!_ It sounded as if the front door had been broken.

"Spike!" It was Buffy's voice. There were footsteps coming up the stairs.

Spike stood up. He looked around, panicked about why she was there. He looked at the sink. The razor was there. He grabbed, content on throwing it away. Buffy opened the bathroom door. The razor was still in his hand.

Her eyes looked at his hand. They bugged out. She paused for a split second, then ran toward him and knocked the razor out of his hand. Then she grabbed both hands and held on tight. She looked at him. He eyes were so big and filled with worry.

Spike looked down. He focused on a stop on his shoe. "I wasn't going to do it," he said.

"Don't lie to me," Buffy said. Her voice cracked.

Spike looked up at her. Her eyes were red and puffy.

"I'm not. I put it down. Then I heard you coming. I was going to throw it away. I didn't want you to see it. I didn't want you to know that I thought about it for even a second."

Buffy's grip on Spike's wrist got tighter. She was shaking.

"I'm so sorry." He tried to pull away but Buffy would not let go.

"No!" Buffy shouted. "You can't leave. You men always leave. Pike left. Dad left. Please don't leave me Spike."

Buffy's words shocked him. Spike thought the whole time that he was the only one with problems and abandonment issues. No wonder he felt so safe with Buffy, she had really gone through the same thing. Spike looked Buffy in the eyes. "Buffy I would never leave you."

"You were about to. You were about to kill yourself and then you'd be gone and I'd be alone again."

"No. I didn't do it because of you."

Buffy let go out his hands. "You're lying to me." She started to back away.

"No, I love you."

"You don't even know me." She turned around and ran out the door. Spike followed her. She ran down stairs, out of the house, down the street and into a park. At the park she collapsed on some grass. Spike was pretty sure she had become too emotionally drained to continue running.

Spike said down next to her. He had never been the one to comfort someone else before. It was the first time in his life. She leaned against him and fell onto his chest. Spike ran his fingers through her hair. They stayed silent for a few minutes. Buffy was the one to break it.

"Pike left me. We ran away together and he promised we were going to be together forever and he left me. He said he couldn't keep up with me. He tried to make it sound like he was giving me back my life but I couldn't go back. Then I went home. My dad said he was divorcing my mom. I asked him if it was my fault. He said no. I think he was lying. And now I'm here with you. And I know how this is going to end. Hell I'm pretty sure I've figured out your method of leaving too."

"Buffy, I'd never—" Spike started to say. Buffy cut him off.

"Don't make a promise you can't keep. Pike told me we were going to be together forever. My dad gave freakin' vows to my mother and he still left her. And you're suicidal. You're just going to leave me, like the rest of them.

Spike continued to stroke her hair. He had no idea what he could say. The tears started forming in his eyes again. The dropped down his face and landed on top of her head.

Buffy sat up straight. She bit her lip. Then she kissed Spike. It was just long enough for Spike to enjoy and short enough to be considered a tease. "Please don't leave me," she said in a scared voice.

Spike hugged her and held her close to his body. "I don't want to. It's just…I don't know what's going on anymore. The people that I thought were my friends hate me and the people I though hate me apparently actually care about my well being. Everything is just so confusing now. Things would be so much more simple if I was dead. Then everyone could be happy. They wouldn't have to deal with me."

Buffy slapped Spike. Spike was shocked for a second. He couldn't believe she would do that.

"How dare you say that? If you killed yourself I would be left devastated. The hole that Pike and my father left is finally being filled, but I can't take losing another person I care about."

Spike wrapped his arms around Buffy. More tears feel from his face. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

Buffy placed her hand on Spike's face and lifted it so he would look at her. "I know. You're problem isn't that you don't care, it's that you care too much. You try not to but you do. You want people to love you. You want them to fill the gaping hole in your heart. You act out for attention because it's close enough to love. But is a broken heart even capable of love? Or does it need to be mended first?"

Buffy let go of Spike's face. He leaned it against her neck. "Please fix me," Spike whispered.

"I don't think I'm qualified."

Spike lifted his head. "Then at least love me."

Buffy started at Spike for a really long time. Spike became scared of a negative answer. Finally she softly said okay and leaned in. She softly placed her lips on his. Spike didn't know what was going to happen from there on out. He didn't know if he'd change his mind later on that night and follow through with the suicide. But he hoped he would remember the sweet taste of Buffy's lips and stay strong. And he hoped that if he became weak Angel would catch him and save his life. But most of all he hoped that love would be enough.

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><p><strong>AN: And that's the end. Once again, thanks for reading along. Send me a review and tell me what you thought of the fic and the ended. Also be sure to check out my other stories, like Mental, another AU Spuffy story. I'll currently working on a third Spuffy story called Humanity which will hopefully be up soon. It's about vampire Spike being turned into a human and learning how to cope with his humanity. Be sure to keep an eye out for it. And thanks for reading. **


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